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My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

This is another film which I don´t really have a proper rating tag for. Jazbaa is hardly “enjoyable”, but it falls somewhere in between whatever and good. I suppose “reasonably fine” might be the best description. I have little admiration for previous work of Sanjay Gupta (though I admit I have seen just a few of his films), especially after the incredibly awful and over-flowingly sexist Shootout at Wadala. Jazbaa, a remake of a South Korean film, is marginally better than that. As a comeback film it does Aishwarya Rai more favour than for example Ishkq in Paris did to Preity or Dangerous Ishq did to Karishma. Coming on the heels of movies like NH10 or Mardaani, though, it looses some punch. And no ammount of weird green undertones that drown the Jazbaa world can change that.

She may not be kicking anyone´s ass in the physical way, but Anuradha Verma (Aishwarya) kicks ass as a top lawyer. She does not shy away from dirty tricks, from hypnotizing the judge to even tampering with evidence, just to win her case, even if she knows her client is a criminal. No matter of “this is how lawyers are” makes this right. But then her little daughter is kidnapped and Anuradha´s eyes turn almost permanently bloodshot from all the tears she sheds. Soon enough she is informed that the kidnapper wants her to release yet another criminal, a violent rapist and a drug dealer this time, if she wants her daughter back. With the help of her best friend (Irrfan) Johan, a corrupt and suspended police officer, Anuradha starts investigating. Interestingly enough, as you can see, the two main characters are actually far from honest innocents. Their absolution in the end is quite subtle, I didn´t even think about it at first.

Irrfan, usually so good in everything, manages to be a let down. He may be shouting and kicking into trash cans, yet his eyes and face show too clearly he doesn´t give a shit. Shabana Azmi has too little footage to really review anything. She appears in very few scenes, does what she must with clean conscience, and leaves without making much impact. Considering she is eventually revealed as the kidnapper, as well as the mother of the raped and murdered girl, she certainly deserved more space. There is Jackie Shroff in this, for a few moments, and for very ineffective villain shading.

The only noteworthy actor thus remains Aishwarya Rai. There is absolutely no reason for her stretching into all angles possible in tights scene in the opening sequence of the film, other than to show everyone she is indeed back in shape (we all remember how she committed the crime of being pregnant and not loosing weight within a week after the baby came into the world). But stay calm, the director wisely decided we needed to see her all bendy and trim before the film even starts. Not that I mind seeing that, but I am not fond of random shit that doesn´t really tell you anything about the film, the plot or the character. That said, the actress holds her ground and her glamorous image is not exploited after that opening sequence. Some of the scenes showing her anxiety and pain are very over the top, however let´s imagine any loving parents in a similar situation. Sometimes it looks awkward and not pretty to break down. Aishwarya ain´t Meryl Streep and her dialogue delivery will never be perfect, still she gives a solid performance, one that many of the more current Bollywood ladies can so far only dream of.

The biggest problem with Jazbaa, I feel, was the lack of “gripping” factor from the start, and some of the actions seemed so illogical they raised to many questions of why. The things finally got more interesting in the second half, fortunately, still there is little mystery or thrill to rave about. Watch for Aishwarya if you missed her. I did.

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Few crimes are as awful as a rape. Not only it causes physical harm, it strips the victim of their dignity, violates their privacy, often it crushes their spirit. And when a rape ends with just as violent murder, hardly anything the darkest nightmare could conjure up even compares. And yet that is exactly how this film starts and what it deals with. 

The lives of two twin sisters Naina and Sonia seem happy enough, with both going to the college and one of them accepting a marriage proposal from her boyfriend. In the good Bollywood tradition of twin behaviour, Naina (Kajol with long hair) is a calm, angelic and gentle being, whilst Sonia (Kajol in the most awful wig since the beginning of Bollywood until Anushka Sharma in P.K.) is loud, intimidating, roughened up kid. But then they capture attention of a rapist and Sonia pays the price. The angelic Naina sets on a quest of finding her sister´s killer, and hopes to prevent his perverted actions in the future. Her journey involves overcoming her own demons and fears, as well as some jogging and weight-lifting under the careful guidance of blind Sanjay Dutt.

Horrifying as it is, Dushman is a great film. I have not seen the Hollywood original, but I dare say Dushman definitely is a more than worthy remake. Perhaps the best scene are the moments before Sonia´s death, as Naina helplessly, verging on hysteria, runs among the cars in traffic jam, all the time listening to Sonia´s screams over the cell-phone. The portrayal of the rapist and murdered is excellent, showing him not only as a disgusting deviant, but also a cunning liar and sly operator, who manipulates the only woman who (for whatever reason) actually cares for him.

The star of the whole thing is of course Kajol, who is only challenged in her performance by truly terrifying Ashutosh Rana. It is by far the best work I´ve seen Kajol doing and I would be much happier if people would talk about her talent with references to films like this rather than to mediocre stuff like Kuch Kuch Hota Hai or even worse to K3G. Dushman gives her a great scope and great material to work with and she seizes the opportunity. However I would have been much happier had there be no love subplot, which I found completely unnecessary, not to mention Sanjay and Kajol do not work as a jodi to me, not at all. Sanjay overal did well, but his character, just as the whole subplot, was given more importance than I would like, as I was hyped about all the thrilling stuff and confrontations between Kajol and Ashutosh, and Sanjay bits were only slowing everything down and distracted one´s interest. For the sake of everything it would have been better if we saw more of the training than romance.

The climax was way too violent, way too long and the music behind it way too awful. And the very ending took away from the feeling of satisfaction brought in by the climax. The romance nobody cared about should not have diluted the sense of relief and justice previously brought on by the bloody death of the rapist at the hands of his upcoming victim.

Excellent thriller I cannot recommend to ladies as a late night movie unless you have a box of chocolate, strong boyfriend and fully loaded Beretta by your side.

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Watch more Bollywood films so you know how to get away with murder. That is the basic message of Drishyam. Also - teach your sons not to be slimy creeps. Otherwise they may not make it home one fine day. The film´s plot touches upon the topic of leaking of extremely private video footage, which leads to an accidental killing of the blackmailer by the victim. However the whole family becomes involved and Ajay Devgn (an uneducated TV-addict as we are constantly reminded) weaves a web of lies and half-truths that ultimately lead to a sort-of-happy ending.

The plot is definitely stretched in probability (there is NO bloody way the police inspector would have put it all together with so little information), but to be fair to much lesser degree than most movies Ajay Devgn has done in the past few years. Some explaining parts get tedious and you better not drop your attention any time during the film otherwise you may loose on some important points. The ending scene finishes everything brilliantly, bringing everything to a wrap, and leaving no questions unanswered. Except for one: Whom did the brother-in-law call? I am sure I must have missed something, and I have suspicions, but this piece of the puzzle is missing in my brain. However Drishyam definitely provides suspense and three-dimensional characters. Even the "good" and "righteous" have a dark side. The seemingly "evil" police officer has a motivation that has driven many a hero, over the years, to commit pretty awful stuff as well.

Furthermore the picture is very well acted. Ajay gives a very solid, balanced performance, without any ridiculous flying and smashing tricks that inevitably would transform the film into something else. His strength as an actor is that even when he keeps his voice and expressions down throughout the whole movie, he projects so much inner strength he never gets boring. Tabu is excellent, and to make a little confession, this was the absolutely very first time when I could see how good she is. Not even Haider and Chandni Bar had endeared her to me, but in Drishyam I could truly feel her emotions. The problem I´ve always had with her was how painfully boring she usually is to watch. Not here though. Shriya Saran (looking beautiful and more like one of Ajay´s daughters than his wife) gets lesser scale of emotions to project, in fact is destined, by her role of a mother (who apparently does not watch as much TV as her husband), to be scared and worried. Still, to be fair, she does very well. Both child actresses did a good job too, there was just no point in the teenage girl being adopted other than actually acknowledging how young Shriya is. But we need someone that young beside 50-years-old Devgn, amirite?

I was not sure whether to rate this film as good or great. It is something in between, so let´s just agree it is very good. And actually there is one more question that remains unanswered: Why does the "bad" police officer always needs to be the darkest one they have at the station? Where are the Aashiqui days when it was the white ginger psycho we had to worry about?

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Chandni is iconic. No doubt about that. Even if only for introducing the myth of Yash Chopra´s „eternal woman in white“. Myth, because after Chandni, she hardly appears in any other of his films. Yet so deep is the image of Sridevi dancing an enticing tandav engrained in all our minds, that we accept her as something definite. Yash Chopra´s „woman in white“ has always been adn always will be Sridevi in Chandni, and no one else. However much like another film that set certain standards - Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge - Chandni too is a movie that has its own problems, and though iconic, it ain´t untouchable. So let´s touch it today, with some delicacy and some less delicacy as well.

Rishi Kapoor plays an obnoxious rich dude who employs all the annoying, forceful ways of getting closer to a girl he likes, and pretty much gives her no choice in matter of loving him back. When life turns tables on him and does not go the way he planned it to, he falls into depression, gives up completely, and slips into a hardcore self-pity mode. In short he is a douche. Sridevi plays beautiful, annoying in her childish mode, touching in her serious mode, Chandni, who likes to dance in the rain and is... well... beautiful. That truly seems the most prominent feature that Yash Chopra chose to endorse in his heroine that time. Sridevi with her thick mane of hair, long limbs, shy smiles and of course those huge eyes looked like a fairy-tale come true. The first half is cruel to her character though, as she is merely dragged along by Rishi and his family. But Chandni also manages to pick up the pieces of her shattered heart and make a new life for herself, complete with a successful career job and a new man who falls in love with her.

Enter grief-stricken Vinod Khanna, whose mother Waheeda Rehman is probably closer to him in age than his first pyaar Juhi Chawla, who appears in a small but sweet cameo. He is all that Rishi Kapoor (in this film) is not. Thorough gentleman, principled, going after his desires but not forcing himself where he is not wanted. So naturally he does not get the girl in the end, because Rishi suddenly decides he wants Chandni back – and much like in the beginning he blackmails her into a renewed relationship. Sigh. I was ready for Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam after this, to heal my aching soul. The score of the film did its share of healing too, for if there is something worth going back to, it´s the music – yes, including the out-of-tune Sridevi parts of „Oh meri Chandni“. The already mentioned wild tandav in nature is stunning and „Tere Mere Hoton Pe“ remains possibly my favourite track ever picturized on Sridevi. Chandni is also, quite possibly, the last film in which I was ready to accept Rishi Kapoor as a romantic hero. No matter what problems the characters displayed, all the actors did a good job with their roles, even if Anupam Kher going around and mouthing tutotial on life and love was boring. Again, I much prefered his meddling in Lamhe than here.

Chandni is one of the best known Yash Chopra films, and was one of his most successful ventures, however compared to let´s say Lamhe it lags behind, as a nice, but all in all average film. It is a notch better than Kabhi Kabhie though, being more tight in screenplay and not bothering about too many characters. Furthermore in spite of the obnoxious boyfriend (hell he even tricks the girl into getting drunk in pursuit of bodily pleasures), Chandni must have been a revelation at the time when action masalla had its boom. It aimed for simplicity and lots, lots of romance, on which it delivered (though there is still the question of the douche who initiates it all. And the whole Switzerland bit was unneccessary.). I have given up on Yash Chopra films being great in terms of script, rather it is best to simply let go and try and enjoy the atmosphere he managed to create. With this film he succeeded in conjuring up a charming little thing, even if only with help of Sridevi´s beauty and lovely music.

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Few films are as problematic for me as Aitraaz. On one hand it seemingly adresses the issue of male rape and false accusation, on the other hand it outright condems women who are ambitious and demonizes statements which, taken out of context of the movie, are true and should be respected (i.e. This is my body and my decision if I have a child.) However what could have been a good psychological drama ultimately twists and turns and becomes a clichéd glorification of „traditional Indian values“ in opposition to wicked western ideas of sexual independence. Mind you, Priyanka Chopra´s character, the bearer of the „western“, is unlikeable and definitely the worst example of any culture one might think of. She is shown as highly manipulative and vengeful. Still I resented how she was made an unredeemable demon, while Akshay Kumar an innocent angel. But as the poster suggests, it is a „women´s world“ and men who do not conform suffer (ha!).

Whereas Priyanka in the film never gets a chance to elaborate on her motivation (unless one is ready to accept she is simply a basic and greedy bitch), Akshay plays the martyr with the help of the law-student-turned-domestic Kareena Kapoor (with really weird blond hair). His character, though, makes few questionable moves himself. He lies to an unknown girl because he likes her. He deceives her to win her affections. Fortunately for him she finds it cute and loveable, had it been me he would have a shoe in his face. He has a history of hitting women when angry. Upon Kareena introducing herself as Priya Saxena he only manages to stammer „Priya Sex.“ In other words veritable Prince Charming.

Alongside this suffering Romeo, Priyanka and Kareena represent the already mentioned two poles – the devil in anything not sanskaari versus Indian goodness, innocence and tradition. Heck, Kareena is even FULLY clothed while dancing on the beach, while bacground dancers are in bikini. The greatest difference between them however lies in their reaction towards pregnancy. Kareena is happy. Priyanka gets an abortion. One would have though that by 2004 Bollywood has outgrown the formula of the angelic/devious extremes, but unfortunately that was not the case.

On the whole Aitraaz comes as awkward. From Kareena´s hair colour to Priyanka´s seductive rolling on the floor. And the whole choreography. In the end I cannot shake the feeling that the whole movie did not really care for exploitation of men, and only used it as a veil for yet another film that demonizes women. The double standarts set by Akshay´s character are obvious too. He has no problem with oggling over a bikini-clad woman on the beach, but is insulted when other men react similarly to her when they see her photoshoot. Maybe I am wrong. That´s why the film remains problematic. Even if it was not, however, it would be a mediocre venture, with outdated sets, forgettable music, sloppy script and half-hearted performances. The only one truly into the character was the vamp - Priyanka Chopra, whose acting chops were not great back then. She is utterly beautiful in the movie still, and already showing the future Priyanka, who would not be shy of experimenting with her roles by taking a negative lead.

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

While I do not hold Farah Khan in high esteem as a director, she did something remarkable and created a film which has been terribly important in my personal Bollywood journey, and so enjoyable that it easily ranks in my top ten Indian films. Om Shanti Om is like a gigantic puzzle box. There is truly everything you may ask for in a film – puppy love, eternal love, slapstick humour, subtle humour, tragedy, action, memorable dialogues, great soundtrack.... and when it all comes together it just clicks and works wonders. Nothing speaks more in favour of the film that even though it is stuffed to the broom with film-references and making good-natured fun of the style of Indian filmmaking, it has become my number one choice of recommendation whenever Bollywood beginners ask me to show them a film. They know nothing about Bollywood, yet all of them like Om Shanti Om with all the quirks and in spite of not understanding any of the underlying jokes (and having no idea who that bunch of people randomly appearing in Deewangi Deewangi are).

Shahrukh Khan is allowed to over-play his already dramatic antics and as a result we get two delightfully different, yet both completely over the top heroes: Om Kapoor the goofy, star-struck movie fan, who lives only for his dream of becoming a star and gaining love of the gorgeous Shantipriya, the dream girl of the silver screen; and Om Kapoor the spoilt brat and arrogant actor who takes everything for granted. They only really become one and the same person as they near their destiny – the goofy bubble-gum 70s Om finds his doom in flames, that also shockingly take away Shantipriya, the irritable 00s Om upon realizing that he has unfinished business from his previous life. His over-dramatic acting is spot on and exactly what the film needs. And Dard-E-Disco is the greatest item song Bollywood has produced and you cannot tell me otherwise, capturing both the fun and ridiculousness item songs stand for.

As you can already tell, I adore this film. I dare to go as far as to compare Om Shanti Om with another Bollywood extravaganza – Amar Akbar Anthony – even though the latter is without doubt on a whole another level of iconic. The right mix of stuff that ranks from touching to pretty much crazy, with logic loopholes that one couldn´t care for any less, since it is simply all just too much fun. It is a well known fact that Om Shanti Om is an unofficial remake of Karz, which in turn was a remake of Madhumati, all films dealing with the themes of revenge “from beyond the grave”, with reincarnation being the turning point. It is also remarkable that unlike another set of remakes (based on the trope of separated twin siblings), all these films are memorable and great. Farah Khan simply took the story and filled every scene with potshots on almost every aspect of Hindi films. However these are all taken with much love and never even border on insulting. Om Shanti Om is both a parody of Bollywood and at the same time appreciates most of what makes it distinct and special.

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

It was supposed to be larger than life movie, the new triumph for Ranbir Kapoor. It was supposed to wow the masses and gather laurels from the critics, and Anurag Kashyap was supposed to be basking in tsunami of appreciation. It was not to be though and Bombay Velvet, boasting of unheard-of amount of money poured into it, took leave of the cinemas way too soon for any profit. What went wrong? How come all the heralded opulence failed to attract the crowds? Perhaps the lengthy story telling was partly to blame, but truth to be told, this is another of those famous flops which I personally was intrigued to watch.

Bombay Velvet is sure interesting. Different. It takes the outline of some of the popular tropes, but then strips them of their basics. And so the main protagonist Johnny Balraj (Ranbir Kapoor) is one of those ill-treated children from the streets, rising to opportunity through the wrong means, but unlike so many heroes before him he does not have an ailing Maa and nobody raped his behen, nor a dead Petaji to avenge. Indeed, there is no excuse for his damnation-worthy lack of values, which teach us that it is better to starve than to get involved in any dishonest deal. Johnny could not care less. He wants to be a “Big Shot”. He is ruthless, but not completely without conscience, and what he does best is really to look after himself. Perhaps that is the source of conflict that has arisen in the viewers´ minds? The hero is actually no hero. His desires are common and average, and Johnny actually does not act out of ordinary in any way. I mean, sure, he sometimes kills a person or two, but given his “job” and circumstances, isn´t this how most people would behave. Johnny does not even have any super quality. He does not outsmart the smart ones, he does not break tables by punching twenty villains at the same time. To me Johnny Balraj was really just a simple crook with dreams that were not even that big. Just give him some dirty izzat, some money, the girl he loves and he´ll be just fine.

Ranbir Kapoor as Johnny is quite brilliant, as usual, changing in front of the camera yet again, as easily as chameleon changes colours. There is not a single moment when you wouldn´t think of him as the character, his body language, his intonation, everything is on point. Performances are strong overal – for the first time I was truly impressed by Anushka Sharma. Once I decided to ignore her infamous lips, I was drawn to her silent force. Indeed, her eyes did all the talking for most of the film. But she too is atypical heroine. Far from virginal, far from lamenting her fate, she does not expect a hero to rescue her from her plight, and once she actually finds a guy who genuinely loves her, she throws any previous obligations out of the window. And she has very few regrets. Sadly her re-introduction as Rita is one of the most bewildering and puzzling decisions one could think of, marring the logic of the movie.

The surprise package of the movie has to be Karan Johar. Previously known on the big screen as “the nerdy friend from DDLJ” he cuts a very decent villain, in spite of his feeble voice, there is nothing cartoonish about his. He generates enough threatening feelings for the film to run smoothly ahead. The one walking away with the short stick is Raveena Tandon, who appears without reasons during two of the songs, all covered in peacock feathers. Lots has been promised as far as the sets, costumes and visuals go, and while everything seems appropriate, fitting, I never had the larger than life feeling which I get when watching anything Bhansali. In fact most of Anushka´s outfits seemed in bad need of fixing, some looked simply cheap. I actually had to wonder where all the money went...

When Bombay Velvet promos first appeared, people kept blasting them, saying Ranbir is merely hoping for his own Agneepath. Bombay Velvet is nothing like Agneepath or any other film in that vein. There is no redemption, no justification. For all the megalomanic claims it remains a touching, interesting, but believable story about normal people on the darker side of the society.